Forever Man
by Hang Me High
Summary: When Edward moves to Forks after the loss of his parents, he can't seem to find salvation anywhere he looks. Then when he's seated next to Bella Swan in biology, a girl who won't even meet his eyes half of the time, something clicks. AU
1. Anywhere But Home

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or any original characters._

_Summary: When Edward moves to Forks after the loss of his parents, he can't seem to find salvation anywhere he looks. Then when he meets Bella Swan, who won't even meet his eyes half of the time, something clicks. AU._

* * *

**Chapter 1 -**

**Anywhere But Home**

I woke with a start, looking around cautiously for a moment at my strange surroundings. Then realization hit and I knew with a sinking feeling where I was. On the plane to Seattle.

"It's a pretty view," the teenage girl sitting next to me said. She had the window seat and was pointing at something out of it, grinning.

If I'd even have been able to see whatever had grabbed her attention, I doubt I would've agreed. I guess a side effect of becoming an _orphan_ is apathy. To be completely honest, I hadn't even noticed her sitting next to me either. Now I did though, taking in her platinum blonde curls, tight sweater and heart-shaped face. The kind of girl I would've consider pretty damn hot.

Forcing out a reply, I said in response, "I guess."

Totally apathetic but for some reason the girl took this encouragingly.

"Have you ever been to Seattle before?"

"No," and at least this time I was being honest. I hadn't ever left California state before, let alone Los Angeles where I had grown up. "Have you?"

"Yes," she told me with a giggle. "I come and a go between Mommy and Daddy - you know how it is with divorces. Parents are such dicks."

I turned away, scowling at the seat in front of me.

The descent came too slowly and by the time I got off the plane, I'd literally stuck to ignoring the girl who's name I didn't even know. The majority of passengers huddled quickly into the arrivals lounge, but I held back, letting the rainy downpour soak me. All I was wearing was a black t-shirt and jeans - not really thermal or waterproof in the least.

After the crowd from the airplane had dispersed, I made my way into the building and started towards the luggage carousel. After locating and retrieving my pair of battered suitcases, I looked around for some sort of caffeine. There had to be at least one coffee shop in the airport, this was America for Christ's sakes.

Wandering around for five minutes earned me a bagel and a steaming take-away cappuccino, which I downed welcomingly. I was trying hard not to shiver.

Now all there was left was to meet my uncle Carlisle and aunt Esme. They were technically my new guardians, thus my relocation to this bleak place. God, I missed the city lights, the humid sea air and my old life. I think that was the moment that it really hit, the moment that I realized everything I'd known was gone. How depressing.

Sighing, I swallowed the final bite of my bagel and went to find my relatives. "Here goes nothing."

Aunt Esme saw me before I really saw her, throwing a placard with my name written all over it into the arms of a guy at her side. Running towards me, I had little time to move my cappuccino into my other hand before I was engulfed in a hug. It was the kind only few people knew how to give, the kind that took every bit of anger and hostility out of you. Before I knew it, I was awkwardly hugging her back with my free arm.

"Oh, Edward," she mumbled, holding me suddenly at arms length. I didn't have to doubt it was my aunt, the resemblance between her and my mom was striking. "How have you been? How're you keeping?"

I gazed down at her, "I'm absolutely fine."

"Honey, you don't have to lie to me," she replied tensely, "Come on. Emmett, can you grab his suitcases, please?"

The guy, who I'd guessed was around my age, gave a small smile and went to take the suitcases which had fallen at my sides. Recomposing myself, I still took one. I wasn't some needy child.

"You sure?" he asked me, nodding down at the luggage in my hand.

"I'm certain, but thanks anyway."

As Esme herded us towards the exit, she broke into a nervous babble. "Forks is a nice town with nice people, the kind that won't ask too many questions. Emmett's in the same grade as you, so he'll show you around school on Monday. I hope you like Forks High School. The classes aren't too big and the curriculum is very good..."

_School in two days? _This was just getting worse and worse. Emmett, assuming he was the male cousin I had heard about, had slipped his iPod headphones in and was finding anywhere else possible to look. Perhaps he was feeling just as awkward as I was.

The cold, dreary air hit me as we came out of the building. It was horrible and I was easily regretting my choice of clothing. Emmett trudged along ahead of us, stopping in front of a nice Mercedes Benz. Dad had once told me his sister-in-law's family was reasonably rich.

"Shotgun or back?" Emmett asked me, gesturing to each seat with his thumb. "I don't care, so whatever you choose."

I didn't meet his eyes, instead just shrugging. "The back's fine for me."

"Suit yourself," and with that, he popped the trunk and threw one of my cases into it. I laid the other on top of it with a little more care before feeling a hand on my shoulder. I turned to find Esme smiling up at me kindly.

"The drive will only be a few hours. It's terrible that they couldn't find anyone to fly you to Forks Airport. I guess this _was_ kind of short notice though."

I cleared my throat as she opened the back door for me and asked, "So where's this uncle of mine then? Couldn't make the reunion?"

Esme closed her eyes for a second and let out a deep, quiet breath. As if she was under a lot of strain herself. Which I guess she probably was. Maybe I'd been a little curt, but oh well. If it came to it I would apologize later, right now I just wanted to get warm and dry.

And so I did, settling into the back seat of the car. I put my own headphones in after ten minutes of driving in silence. Setting a Led Zeppelin song on play, I closed my eyes and prayed for the journey to Forks to last a lifetime.

* * *

"Here we go," Esme announced, turning round in the driver's seat to face me. We had pulled up in front of a large house on what I'd guessed was the nice side of town. The drive through Forks had been quick, with a half-hearted tour guide attempt from Emmett. The sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach had grown though once I'd realized there were only about four stores on the Main Street. Not nearly enough places to try getting liquor.

"This is it?" I asked, peering up at the house. It wasn't new, probably built in the early 1900s but it was one of the biggest on this street alone. Nothing like my house back home.

"_This is it_," Emmett repeated, practically launching himself out of the Mercedes.

Esme followed, smiling at me in a gesture to follow.

The interior of the house was nice, simple. It was only when we got round the back that I felt my jaw drop. The entirety of the back wall was made of glass, showing the extravagant dining room, kitchen and several bedrooms to me. I gawked.

"I'm unsure whether I like or dislike this," I told my aunt, who was trying not to laugh at my reaction. I sighed and pulled my headphones out of my ears, letting the music that I hadn't paused drown out into the pattering of the rain.

"Well," Esme began. "We have three guest rooms, two in the attic and one round the front of the house. It's your call."

I felt a smile tug at the corners of my lips. This was probably the first important decision I'd been allowed to make since the funeral when I choose the type of wood the coffins would be made of for my parents. _Ugh_, the thought made my lip quiver instead.

Still, I knew I would never be able to thank my aunt enough.

"Attic," I told her and Esme smiled up at me, looping her arm through mine as she led me back inside. Emmett had retreated into the front room as soon as Esme had begun her little tour of the house, and now as we passed the doorway I could see him lounged out on a sofa as he watched TV. The first thing I noticed was that he was watching America's Next Top Model - which safe to say made me raise an eyebrow. The next thing was that he wasn't alone.

A girl with an angular face and the same dark curls as Emmett looked up as I paused. Then she was up, dancing towards me.

"You must be our Edward!" She grinned, engulfing me in a hug. I was at least two heads taller than her. What was she, thirteen? As she hugged me though, I realized it was one of those embraces that refused to release you until you at least reciprocated. I didn't have a chance to though, thank God.

"Alice, give the boy some air to breathe," Esme sighed, rubbing her temples. She was waiting at the foot of the wide staircase I had seen when we'd first come through the hallway. Alice let go, still smiling up at me. I had guessed that she was my other cousin, considering the resemblances between her and the other woman next to me were striking.

Before I could even break away from where I stood, Alice was bouncing up the stairs as if she were taking them three at a time. Esme just sighed again, but in motherly, not-really-that-annoyed kind of way. I cast one reluctant look back at Emmett, then followed them.

* * *

We stood, with an awkward silence brewing between us, in what was my room in the attic. It was painted a pale green colour. There were two wardrobes in one corner, a book case, the bed and a bean bag chair under a wide skylight. Alice dove into the bean bag, still smiling up at me.

"You like it, don't you?" She asked, expectant. "If you don't, we'll take you to Ikea next weekend."

"Alice-" Her mother began, trying to stop her.

"What? I have money," she shot back defensively, folding her thin arms across her chest. That was when I noticed she wearing a purple florally dress. Eccentric, but sort of nice. "I've been saving up since last Christmas and I sure as Hell don't mind spending it on family."

"Language!" Esme groaned, looking between us and then towards the door. "I have to start dinner. Help Edward unpack, be down for around eight-ish."

And with that, she left us. Alice got up from the bean bag and made a bee line for my suitcases. Before I could realize what she was doing, she had them zipped open and was piling through my neatly packed clothes. I slammed a hand down on the case, trying hard not to scowl at her.

"What?" She asked innocently.

"What were you doing?"

"Going through your clothes," Alice replied matter-of-factly as she pealed my fingers away. "I have high standards when it comes to fashion. If you don't live up to these standards, then I shall be forced to take you shopping too." She reminded me of the girls back home, always concerned about clothes and make up. There was nothing wrong with my clothes though.

I said no more as she began to help me unpack them and put each garment away into the wardrobes. She even giggled when she found my Star Wars boxers by mistake and I snatched them off of her, but in a hasty not nasty way. I was growing fond of this tiny cousin and I could feel it. Her endless babble made me relax and I welcomed each half-hearted joke, every high-pitched giggle. I wondered why we'd never come to visit these relatives before.

"So how was the flight?" She asked at one point.

I ran a hand through my hair, which was messy and growing too long for my liking. A hair cut was now on my check list. "It was the usual. Take off, turbulence, landing. There was this girl," I told her and Alice perked at the word. "But she just pissed me off."

"What way do you swing then?" Alice asked, putting my Lord of The Rings books on a shelf and I blinked at her.

"I'm straight, Alice."

"That explains you're taste in literature," she retorted.

I shot her a look, "What's wrong with Lord of The Rings? They are an ageless classic and I love Gollum." I was getting near to emptying both suitcases now.

That was when I found a framed photo of my mom and I, taken on a trip to the Grand Canyon when I was around eleven years old. It was my favourite, partly because I had been allowed to choose the frame as well. It was smashed, almost completely. The glass from that precious, cheesy-looking frame was in shards.

It was broken. I felt broken just looking at it.

My fists closed around the photo and I could feel some of the glass digging into my right palm. I didn't care though. Next thing I know, Alice was leading me into the en suite bathroom, trying to console me. The frame was no longer in my hands, instead lying even more destroyed at the foot of the wardrobes. I didn't even want to reprimand myself for throwing it aside, because it was already ruined anyway.

"Jesus Christ," she breathed as she held my hands under the faucet. The water turned red with the blood, but after a while it cleared again.

I realized I was shaking almost uncontrollably and I had to sit down on the edge of the tub just to calm down. Alice was still murmering something that I couldn't hear, but it still sounded soothing. I wanted to go home more than ever.

"Edward, it's OK. It's seriously OK. Just a bit of glass, we'll get a new frame..." Alice told me and I felt myself nod, dazed.

"Dinner!" Esme called from downstairs and I balled my sore palms into fists again. Alice gave me a kind smile before turning the tap off. As we made our way downstairs, I couldn't help but glance out of the window. It was still raining.

* * *

_A/N: This story is titled after an Eric Clapton song, in case no one else had noticed yet. And... I would very much appreciate that if anyone has made it this far, they review :) tell me what you think, you know? x_


	2. Untamed Lions

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or any original characters._

_A/N: I'd just like to say thank you to everyone who has checked out this story so far. I know the beginning was a little generic and a little short, but this chapter will hopefully be better. Please review, favourite, alert and all that jazz. Here's the second chapter for you all. x_

* * *

**Chapter 2 -**

**Untamed Lions**

"Why hi there, Sleeping Beauty," Emmett chuckled as I collapsed on the couch next to him. It was around noon and I'd only just gotten up. I hoped my relatives soon realized this was a habit of mine I would take to performing every Sunday.

I groaned in response, pulling a pillow away from him so I could rest my head on it. I winced as the material rubbed at my palms, which were still cut up from yesterday. My cousins had wanted Carlisle to look at them once he got home from work, but I had retired to my room in protest after dinner. I didn't want any more awkward reunions last night, and I reckon Esme had been the only who couldn't comprehend that.

"You look pretty beat up actually," he continued, switching channels aimlessly. "Bad night's sleep?"

"Pretty much," I told him, looking down at my hands.

"Anything in particular you want to watch, cuz'?" This was the first time he'd referred to me as a family member and it's safe to say it didn't give me a warm fuzzy feeling inside. I just shook my head at him and he settled on reruns of a series called Scrubs.

We settled into a quiet, comfortable companionship after that. Not the kind where we cuddled or shit like that, but more like "I'm a man, you're a man and we're sitting on a couch together. The most interaction we know we'll have is a bit of goofing around, but nothing further than farts". This was more what I was used, it was like hanging around with friends back home except a little more tentative. A lot different from the evening with his sister before.

"I'm going down to the reservation with Alice's boyfriend later on, you could come if you want?" he told me. "He - Jasper Hale - happens to also be one of my best friends. Awkward for me, right? It helps that his sister is hot, you know, sort of evens things out."

"Wait, how old is Alice?" I asked, glancing at him sideways.

"A year younger than us," I think my reaction said it all. Emmett laughed at my expression and continued. "She's just small for her age, I guess."

I sat up slightly, "You could say that."

Then Emmett's attention flicked away from me and to the the doorway. I followed his gaze and found myself looking at a man in his early forties, with wheat coloured hair and a gentle expression that was focused almost intently on me. I shifted uncomfortably.

"Well," he began in a deep voice. "You must be Edward. I haven't seen you since you were seven years old, you know. You've grown a lot in the past ten years."

I couldn't remember ever meeting him, but offered what would be considered a fake smile to my uncle Carlisle.

"I'm sorry I missed you at dinner yesterday, I was working on call at Forks Hospital till late. There was an accident just out of town. I think the black ice is just about to start setting in."

It was November - still practically summertime in Los Angeles. I couldn't even remember seeing snow before in my lifetime, aside from on TV or in photographs anyway. If I didn't have good grades in school, I doubt I would've known what black ice was either.

"Is the weather bad here around Christmas then?" I asked, trying to make conversation. Emmett had turned his attention back to the television.

Carlisle perched on the arm of a chair in the corner, "It can be pretty bad. It gets worse towards the New Year though - but then again: more people drinking and celebrating equals more accidents anyway. So you can never really be certain if it's the weather or just the stupidity of some people."

"So, you're saying people who get themselves killed are idiots?" I asked him, feeling venom slip into my tone. "Like, for example... My parents?"

My uncle looked flustered, almost apologetic. He sighed, frowning down at the floor. "I'm sorry if you thought I was referring to them. Your parents... No one can be blamed for their deaths, Edward. It's just a tragic way of life."

"I thought your job was to prevent such tragedies?"

"It is, but you have to understand-" Carlisle paused as Alice danced into the room, obviously unaware of the argument that was taking place. She looked between us, then at Emmett, before her eyes finally focused on me again. It took me a moment to notice she was wearing her usual smile.

"Edward, you're coming out with me today," she told me as if it were already decided, looking very pleased with herself. "We'll go up to Port Angeles. I've decided a new wardrobe for you can't wait. I mean, are those supposed to be pyjamas?"

I met my uncle's worried stare for a moment, before turning back to Alice. "How soon can we leave?"

* * *

I didn't know if I regretted coming to Port Angeles with Alice or not. The ride in her yellow Fiat Spider hadn't been that bad, in fact it had been almost good. Alice talked and talked in that soothing way of hers, and I'd just listened, occasionally dropping in a comment or statement here and there. This town, on the other hand, was almost more excruciating than Forks. The fact that it was bigger, but seemed to have less in it made me want to drop into a coma.

Weren't medium-sized towns supposed to have moderately well-known stores, companies and establishments? Port Angeles sadly didn't.

"Here, go try these on," she told me, putting a pile of expensive-looking jeans, sweaters and shirts into my arms. Alice herded be towards the changing rooms and once I was alone, I just dropped them on the stool. I had no intention of trying any of them on.

After a while I came back out, handed her half of the pile to put away and took half of the pile to the counter in order to please her. I had of course gone through them to make sure I at least liked what I had ended up choosing. This was our seventh store after all.

Once we left the store, Alice found pleasure in dragging me to a small fast food joint. On the way there, she paused outside the local movie theater. I looked to where Alice was staring and found my eyes on a pair of girls. They were loitering outside it, talking between the two of them.

"Friends of yours?" I asked her and Alice seemed to snap back to attention, her brown eyes wide as she turned to me.

"Oh," she started, "They are my friends - kind of. Jessica, the taller one, is in some of my classes. I didn't know they'd be here today."

I looked at Jessica, who seemed to have not yet noticed us. She had a hooked nose and a mouth that seemed a little too wide when she talked. Then I looked at the other one, more briefly. She was reasonably good looking, if not a little bit better. I glanced away, trying to gain back the indifference I'd worn yesterday.

Alice guided me round the corner and into a place called Denny's. While she openly ordered two garden burgers and two Cokes (surprisingly not diet), I found us a booth in the corner and far away from the shop front. A few minutes later she came to join me, sliding into the seat opposite. She looked even smaller than usual, as if framed endearingly by the worn red upholstery of the booth.

"What?" she asked, spotting the amused look on my face.

"Most girls I know would rather die than go near a place like this," I mumbled, grinning at her. I wondered if Jessica and her friend would come here. "I guess Washington is different from California in a lot of ways."

"You just mean the people," she laughed, fiddling with one of the paper menus that I hadn't even noticed.

"No. The weather too,"

It felt almost weird, being so at ease with someone I frankly barely knew. If Alice hadn't been so closely related to me, I doubt I would've even given coming her with her a second thought. Then I remembered the argument between uncle Carlisle with me and I felt myself frown.

God, I was such a dick at times. Wasn't I? I reckoned Alice was the only one that I hadn't straight off made hate me so far.

Our orders came and I took a long chug from my drink. I realized this was probably the first thing I had eaten or drunk since dinner last night. With that thought in my mind, I started on the burger in front of me. It tasted _so_ good.

"What was it like living in the City of Angels then?" Alice asked me.

"It was like living in Heaven, aside from street crime and bad sunburns," I replied. "I liked the Sun and the heat, too."

"I remember vacationing in Hawaii when I was a kid, the heat was amazing compared to here. I got the first and only tan of my life there," I looked at her, realizing for the first time that she was in fact quite pale. Not in a sickly way, but more porcelain coloured.

"I've never been to the Hawaiian Islands,"

"They're really amazing," and she ended the conversation, starting too on her food.

We were all finished up a quarter of an hour later and this time, I made sure to pay for things - much to my cousin's dismay.

Alice and I stumbled out into the street opposite her Spider, both of us wincing at the cold. I wondered if I would ever get used to this weather. She smiled up at me and out of the corner of my eye, I noticed we weren't alone.

Two girls a few yards away, across the pavement. Alice noticed where my eyes had gone and her smile faltered. "There they are again." I registered her statement and was left thoroughly confused as Jessica started towards us, grinning as she swung her handbag over her shoulder.

I rolled my eyes inadvertently, wanting to make a break for my cousin's car.

"Why hello Cullen," Jessica began. She wasn't exactly what you would call pretty, in fact her friend seemed to fit into that category better. "This must be your cousin, right? The one that's new to town."

She turned her attention fully towards me, side-stepping around Alice.

"Yes, this is Edward Mason." I don't know why, but I winced at the sound of my name. Maybe it was horrifying to hear that surname when I new it was written on a pair of new tombstones. Or maybe I just hadn't wanted the girls to know it.

"Edward," she repeated, licking her lips almost imperceptibly. What was I, meat? "My name's Jessica. It's nice to meet you."

Before I could stop myself, I was edging away. "Wish I could say the same."

She stared at me, first shocked, secondly humiliated and lastly resentful. She turned to her friend, who was looking down at her feet as if trying to hide her blush. I saw that she had glossy, brown hair tied up into a messy bun. It framed her face nicely, though because she wouldn't look at me I could not see much of it.

"Come on," Jessica shot us both a dirty look at tugged at the girl, who seemed to snap out of some sort of reverie. They left, heading in the other direction. I can't say I didn't check out their butts as they stormed off, knowing I had made the right decision to brush Jessica off. That was when I realized that I had just about brushed off the majority of people I'd met since arriving in Washington. Somewhat pleased and frustrated at myself, I gestured for Alice and I to get in her car.

Once we had pulled away into a line of traffic, Alice began babbling again. "I think she genuinely liked you. Not too shabby Edward. At least you'll have some sort of reputation by tomorrow." I'd almost forgotten about school. Now I wanted to groan, however there was something else bugging at my mind.

"Wait… Which one do you think liked me?"

Alice just smiled as she turned off at the sign that pointed the direction of Forks. "Jessica, obviously. Isabella's not the kind of girl to get caught up in romance, in fact from what I've heard she avoids it. A kid of divorce, I think."

I frowned down at the dashboard as I fiddled with the radio dial, trying to find a station with some actual clarity. I felt almost disappointed at Alice's response. So, the one that would barely look at me was just as potentially bad as the girl from the flight.

"Divorce, eh?" I asked, not really knowing why I was asking any more about the subject. I wasn't really sure if I even cared.

"Yeah, she moved here a few years ago when her mom got remarried. I really don't know her that well, Edward. If you want to know any more then you'll have to ask her yourself,"

I felt myself nodding and stopped myself short, my frown tightening. No way did I want to know more about her. No way in Hell.

As Alice pulled into the driveway in front of the house, I breathed a sigh of relief. No more shopping or running into teenage girls.

"Home sweet home," she said, taking her keys out of the ignition.

I unbuckled my seatbelt, grabbed the bags from the backseat and got out into the rain. For the first time since I had met her, I just wanted to get away from Alice. When I made it up the steps, I found the front door wouldn't open. I didn't have keys of my own yet. I decided to go round the back.

Emmett was on the back porch with someone, their reflections gleaming on the glass wall. They had a handful of beers between them and seemed to be laughing as they looked out into the rain. It was the first time I'd noticed that a thicket of evergreens bordered their back yard. Emmett got up as soon as he saw me, the grin fading from his face.

"You alright, Edward?" he asked at the same time Alice came barrelling after me.

"… Seriously, you could've at least waited for me to open the door," I swore under my breath, shifting all the bags into one hand so I could push my hair out of my eyes.

"What's going on?" Emmett said, starting down the porch steps. I glanced behind him at the blonde boy, who was assumedly Jasper. He seemed to just be watching the scene, a curious expression on his face. I was so freaking glad he found my panic amusing.

"He's just not patient enough," Alice shot me a look and took the bags from me. She walked up the path and to the steps. Even I noticed the look she got on her face when she saw Jasper was there, sitting on the porch. It was like… Pure happiness to see him. Bless her little cotton socks. "Hey," I heard her say to him.

"So what was there to be impatient about?" Emmett asked me, holding out a newly opened beer bottle. I took it from him and mumbled a thank you.

"She wouldn't get out of the car fast enough," I told him and Emmett just laughed, steering me towards the house. "I don't have keys of my own yet either."

"I'll tell Dad to get some cut for you. He's sorry about earlier, by the way." I nodded, trying to decide whether to continue into the house or to join them. It seemed like an open opportunity, considering I already had a beer in my hand, and I did feel kind of bad for running off on my youngest cousin. I took a seat at the plastic garden table everyone seemed to be seated at. The chairs were kind of flimsy, but I didn't reckon they were going to break under my ass.

"How was the reservation?" Alice asked neither of them in particular, but her eyes were glued to Jasper. He seemed perfectly fine with the affectionate attention she bestowed him. "I thought last time you went you had a bust up with Sam Uley?"

"Who's Sam Uley?" I asked. I had set my beer on the tabletop next to me.

She glanced at me and gave a small smile, "Some guy who hates our two families' guts, all because Emmett tried hotwiring his car once."

"I did not try, I succeeded." Emmett told us, obviously indignant at what she'd said.

"Ok - well, he succeeded and Sam caught them. He got Chief Swan involved, that's Isabella's dad, and they got away with a few hours of community service last Summer." Alice explained, amusement clear on her face. I couldn't help but wonder what their dear parents had to say about this. I also couldn't help but wonder what Isabella had thought about this when her dad had probably told her about it.

"Also, I was just unlucky enough to be in his company at the time," Jasper shot in and I realized this was the first time I had heard him speak. "So now whenever we go down to La Push, Sam gets all moody if he sees us. It's like a love hate relationship,"

Emmett finished his beer before saying, "We love making them hate us, they love doing the same. Let's just say Alice's precious car got egged on Halloween."

I stared at them all. "_Why _did you hotwire his car in the first place?"

The rain was battering so hard on the roof of the back porch that I barely heard Emmett's sheepish response.

"To prove I could."


	3. Definition of Denial

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or any of its original characters._

* * *

**Chapter 3 - **

**Definition of Denial**

Esme grinned at me as soon as I came into the dining room for breakfast Monday morning. I was dressed in the clothes Alice had bought for me and even I had to admit, they suited me. She herself was sat at the head of the table with her feat up. A bowl of cereal was being nursed in her lap.

"Cheerios?" Carlisle offered and I immediately felt my mood darken. I hadn't noticed him sitting across from his wife, dressed in black slacks and a blue dress shirt. He looked very professional. "I'll get you a bowl from the kitchen, if you like."

I attempted to smile in thanks, but I'm sure it came out as some sort of facial twitch instead. Uncle Carlisle folded up the newspaper he'd been reading and got up, edging past me awkwardly as he went to kitchen.

"I have to say," Esme began as I sat down next to her. "You look very suave, Edward. I think it's the James Dean thing you have going on." James Dean? Yes, I suppose the look was quite Dean-like. Dark jeans, a fresh white top and my own leather jacket. I liked it.

"Are you thankful now?" Alice asked me, shifting in her chair so her feet were better propped up on the table. Her mom shot her a reproofing look.

"Yes," I told her. Carlisle had come back into the room and set a white dish in front of me. I didn't meet his gaze. "I just feel guilty as all, Alice."

"What do you mean?" She asked me, her brow furrowed in confusion.

"You spent all that money on me," I reminded her.

"No, I donated the clothes I bought to you. Plus, I couldn't have had you coming to school with me in one of those God awful hoodies you have."

"Hey, what's so wrong with wearing a hoody?" Emmett asked, propelling himself into the room.

"Nothing," Alice mumbled into her cereal. "If you're a jock, which I'm so not letting you be, Edward."

"Why?" I hadn't exactly been a jock back home, but I was mournful of the fact that I wouldn't even have the chance to be remotely popular if Alice had her way. In California it was all about sports, I couldn't see any reason aside from the rain that it wouldn't be the same here. I suppose I could always ditch her for Emmett and Jasper.

"You're too cute for that lifestyle," she told me and I scowled down at the bowl in front of me. I reached for some cereal and started eating as soon as it was in my bowl. I hadn't been called cute since I was nine years old. Cute was what you called nine year olds. I was _not_ a kid anymore.

I guess coming from Alice it was a compliment though.

After breakfast, Esme gave me the choice of being driven to Forks High or getting a ride with one of her children. I chose the latter, only to find Alice had already left to pick her boyfriend up. So it was going to be Emmett and I.

"Come along Sleeping Beauty," he chuckled to himself as he pushed open the front door. Surprise, surprise it was raining again. At least I had my leather jacket on this time, something I had completely forgotten about owning until about half an hour. He popped an umbrella as soon as he stepped out of the door and I jogged after him, letting Esme slam it shut behind me.

Despite the rain, the sky had a reddish morning tinge to it. As if the Sun was just waiting for something to trigger it's appearance in the sky. What a bastard of a star.

School was a short drive and Emmett once again took his job as the narrator of the journey. I was trying my best not to get annoyed with him.

Forks had several cinder block buildings that made up the high school, with a visible field to one side and a parking lot to the other. Bordering the field was the forest. It looked thicker here than the part behind the Cullen's house. There was a current of kids making their way from the parking lot onto the actual school site and in the mess of scarves, hats and coats I couldn't even find Alice and Jasper. It was almost as bad as Garfield High, just... Smaller.

Once we were out of the car, Emmett patted me on the shoulder in a sign that I should stick with him. At one at one point, I said, "How do I find out what classes I have?"

He glanced at me and replied. "I'm taking you to the main office, you idiot. I think you have to sign some forms, take a handful of them home to Esme and the others you have to get the teachers to sign. I'm not sure, it's different when you start here as a freshman."

"What's it like to start here as a freshmen?" I'd hated being a freshman.

"It's the same as being a freshman anywhere. You're suddenly the bottom of the food chain once again."

I had somehow noticed that 3/5 people were turning to look at me, thankfully not all of them in the same way that Jessica had in Port Angeles. Then I remembered that they too attended Forks High School. How long would it take me to run into either of them? Isabella would be OK, we didn't even know each other. Would Jessica still be sore though?

I had only one way to find out. Emmett led me into the main office and then mumbled something that he'd catch up with me when he could. I'd watched him disappear further into the building and then turned to face the receptionist. She was middle aged and had thin lips. I decided to make the best of my first day experience and flirted a little with her, so much that she almost forgot why I was even there. Once she had determined that I was a new student though, she sent me packing off to class - a handful of half-filled out papers thrown into my back pack.

I had biology first. Science was easy for me because it was one of the classes I actually found remotely interesting. No fictional shit, just fact. And the first fact I learned in that class was that I was to be desk partners with Isabella Swan.

"Just there, Mr. Mason," Mr. Banner told me in a formal tone. He was already at the front of the room, bent over his desk to look at some sort of lesson planner. I couldn't help but glance around as I sat down to see if anyone else I potentially knew was in this class. I wasn't sure how to feel as I realized that it was just Isabella and I, surrounded by strangers.

"Err... Hi," I said to her as I fumbled in the bottom of my back pack for a pen. The room was heated and the leather jacket was beginning to become too much for me, however I couldn't bring myself to take it off. It was one of the only things I still had from Los Angeles and today I felt like I needed it. Not because of the weather or because I wanted to look cool, but because it was something that had belonged to me since before I'd moved here; it was something that wasn't Forks.

It took me a moment to realize that Bella hadn't replied and I sneaked a glance in her direction as the teacher began some sort of lecture on molecular structures. She wasn't even looking at me, just straight down at the note book in front of her. It was blank aside from the date that she'd scribbled in the corner of the page.

"I said hello," I repeated, starting to get annoyed. What was her problem? "Do you have a pen I could borrow?"

Now she looked at me. I felt kind of triumphant. As she spoke, I noted that she had brown eyes. "Yeah... Sorry, I was daydreaming."

Isabella handed me a blue Biro and went back off into her own little world.

"Is your friend annoyed at me? I mean, I was kind of rude-"

"Yes, you were," she said and I was pretty shocked that she had the nerve to cut me off. "That's Jessica though, when she doesn't get favourable outcomes she gets mad. Don't take it personal."

"I won't," I told her. "And for the record, it's also rude to interrupt. I guess we have that something in common."

She rolled her eyes and tried to focus on the front of the class room. That was fine with me. She didn't seem like the talkative type anyway, the look on her face when I had tried to make conversation had said at least that much. In fact, she was very reserved for a teenager.

I settled into a half-hearted concentration, considering I'd already decided that I would enjoy the lesson whether or not I enjoyed my desk partner's company. Did she enjoy mine? I stole a glance her way. She was playing was loose curl, jotting something down in her note book. Did she really have the same opinion of me as her friend did? I glanced sideways again, this time taking in that she had a Dodgers shirt on. Did she... Did I even care? No, of course I didn't. I didn't even know her.

Strangely enough, part of me wanted to though.

* * *

At lunch, I found Emmett, Jasper and Alice in a table at the back. Five other people were sat with them, each an oddity in their own way. One girl even had purple and pink streaks in her hair and she told me her name was Zoey. The others were guys from a range of the school's sports teams. Not exactly jocks, but not too shabby for a social elite.

"How were your classes?" Jasper asked me. Emmett had been in my last two lessons, which were double gym. I'd always liked sports, which had come across as a favourable advantage in volley ball.

I glanced up from my food, "They were alright."

"Well," Zoey began, her voice husky in a way that made me raise an eye brow. "There are other perks to being in Forks."

"Oh, really?"

She grinned, a kind of grin that made her look like the Cheshire Cat. If I could've without looking stupid I would've raised my other brow too. "Really," she said finally.

"Are you two flirting?" Alice cut in, stealing an apple from my tray. "Because if this is going to become a habit then I'm going to find somewhere else to sit."

Zoey turned to her, a bemused look now on her face. The girl could change expressions like a light switch. "What's wrong, Alice? Don't like seeing romance between others for once?"

"Hey," Jasper cut in, planting his hand firmly on top of his girlfriend's. They looked like the perfect couple, sitting together on the lunch bench like that. In fact... They looked like just about one of the only happy couples in the room, aside from a handful of kids on tables pretty far away from ours that were pretty much dry humping.

"Jesus, no one can have a joke any more." Zoey sighed and got up, tossing her long colourful hair over her shoulder as she did so. I watched as she crossed the room to dump her tray, sitting back a little to watch as she swung her hips. She paused near the trash can and then started towards the exit. That was when she passed a familiar dark-haired girl.

Isabella was sat with a group of her own friends, seemingly not interested in their jokes or conversation. Much like me.

"You're staring, Ed," Emmett told me and I shot him a warning glance. "At who, may I ask?"

Swallowing my pride, I nodded towards the table next to the trash can. Who sat next to a trash can willingly? "Swan... She was in my biology class. She's interesting."

"You mean Bella?" One of Emmett's friends shot in, a cocky smirk on his face. "She's interesting alright, pal. I dated her two Summers ago. Pretty hot, pretty bad kisser though if I do say so myself."

"You really think her lip skills interest me?" I asked him.

"How could they not? Look, she's fine... It's her Dad I guess that's the problem. He's overprotective,"

Our conversation ended abruptly as Alice went to chuck the core of the apple back onto my tray, but missed and effectively hit my chest with the piece of fruit. I tried my best not to glower at her. If she was anyone else, she'd have had the apple already smeared into her skull by now though. Luckily it had left no mark on my top.

"Sorry," she gave me an apologetic smile and I sighed, shoving my hands into the pockets of my leather jacket.

They settled back into their own conversations, everyone aside from Jasper. He had the kind of hair that was the actual colour of gold, falling in every possible angle down to his chin. If he'd have lived back in L.A. then he would probably have offered some sort of modelling course by now. A guy I'd known who had similar features was in several adverts now.

Jasper saw me scrutinizing his beach boy hair style and offered a questioning look. He said, "I'm taken, you do realize that, right?"

"You're the second person in the space of three days to question my sexuality, you know." Jasper laughed loudly at my response.

"By the way, did you say that Bella girl was in your classes this morning?"

"Just one," I replied.

"She's in Alice's year though," he told me. "Did you get held back in that subject or something?"

I stared at him. I was good at science, I always had been. It was one of the only subject I had ever been good in, aside from gym. Was he seriously asking me if I'd been held back?

"Are you serious?"

"Well," Jasper looked uneasy as I scowled at him. He inadvertently inched closer to Alice, who hadn't even noticed we were talking. "It's either that or she's smarter than I thought. Then again, I don't really know her - nor am I bothered about getting to know her."

"Fair enough," was my reply.

"You seem bothered though," he seemed to have a knack for making me give him daggers. It's not like I could help it, after all he was implying that I was interested in a girl I didn't even know. Heck, until a few minutes ago I hadn't even known people called her Bella and not fully Isabella. If I was interested, I would've had the decency to find out what she liked being called at least. And I hadn't. Story closed: I didn't like her.

"I'm not," I told him and got up as the bell rang, announcing another excruciatingly tedious lesson.

For the first time since I had arrived, I couldn't wait to get back to the Cullen's house.

* * *

That night I had a dream for the first time in months, or perhaps it had been more of a nightmare.

_I was running down my old street, hurrying to get back home because a thunder storm was setting in. We had thunder storms once in a blue moon in Los Angeles and I'd never been afraid of them before. Strange, because this time I knew for some reason I was. I could see my front door, too unbearably far for my liking. I pushed my legs faster and further._

_The door was within reach._

_I pushed it open._

_There was someone in the front room, watching the TV. I shut the door behind me, relief crashing over my body along with the comforting smell of home and of normality. _

_I stumbled forward, ready to see one of my parents curled up on the couch._

_Maybe it would my mom, with her red hair and smiling eyes. She always wore the colour blue. Or, maybe it would be my dad. He wasn't exactly one to curl up on the couch in front of a film though, instead sitting almost intollerably still throughout it. Dad had always been focused liked that, thus why it didn't explain the car accident._

_The car accident. The car accident. The car accident._

_I soon realized that neither of them were on the couch. It was that Zoey girl. I stumbled backwards, trying to get away for some reason. Why was I so scared of a teenage girl? Then I knew why. She was clutching break wires in one hand, a pair of pliers in the other. Zoey turned slowly towards me and smiled. _

I woke up, stifling a scream. I was covered in sweat and the light from the windows in the attic was too dim for me to make anything out in the room before me. I grabbed at anything near me, which happened to be all but pillows. Stuffing one of them behind my head, I attempted to remember how to breathe.

* * *

_A/N: I'm not sure of my own opinion on this chapter, it was a little too smashed together. Please review and let me know how you think, also to let me know if I should continue this story even. It'd be appreciated, much love. x_


	4. Incredibility

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or any original characters._

* * *

**Chapter 4 -**

**Incredibility**

"Edward!" I heard Alice shouting from somewhere downstairs. I'd been in Forks nearly a week now and was still not used to my youngest cousin's loud mouth - especially in what seemed the early hours of the morning.

Was it the early morning even? Most likely, otherwise I would have been forced into school already some way or another. A side affect of having to move up North was having to attend a school up north. So far, I disliked the whole factor of moving. The only plus were the pretzels they sold in the diner just out of town where Jasper's sister, a blonde called Rosalie, worked. Emmett had taken me there two days ago so that he could flirt with her in vain.

Rosalie hadn't seemed to like me very much, stating that I looked too much like kids from Hollywood were supposed to. When I had asked what she meant, she'd told me there were mirrors in the bathrooms and that my appearance wasn't the only thing that needed working on. So of course, I had told her to shove her mirrors somewhere the Sun don't shine.

Emmett and I had briskly left after that, extremely close to being banned from the pretzel heaven.

"I swear to God, Edward come on! We have school!" I threw a pillow at my door, tugging the sheets further over my head. The mention of school was so not going to motivate me into getting up. "C'mon!"

Alice threw the door open and I heard her curse lightly under her breath as she side-stepped the pillow. After a minute of listening to her muttering to herself, I rolled over and waved feebly. I was going to do no more than that because if she was just going to shout then I wasn't going to talk to her at all.

"I repeat,_ we have school_!" I gave her a look and Alice returned it, chucking the pillow back at me.

Sighing deeply and a little over-dramatically, I sat up. From the look on her face I knew my hair was probably as bad as I felt. More sleep was what I needed, not education. Couldn't Alice understand that for crying out loud?

After a small argument (which I of course won), I decided to get out of bed and get dressed. I had decided that in fact my education was important, and also that I didn't want to have to walk to Forks High in the rain when my aunt Esme found out I was skipping class. A ride was a much better form of compensation.

I shoved on the sweater Alice had bought for me in Port Angeles, deciding it looked worse on me than it had on the mannequin. Funny, I had actually liked this sweater when we had been shopping. Maybe I was just getting too picky. I mean, what did it matter what I was wearing? The only lesson remotely important today was Biology - and that was because I liked science. Definitely not because of any other positives.

It's not like you could call Isabella Swan a positive anyway. She was too brisk, too reserved. Totally the opposite of positive… Sort of negative even. I didn't care what Jasper had said at lunch on my first day of school. I wasn't actually interested in her. Not in the slightest. Not at all.

"Morning," Emmett practically sang as I came down from my attic bedroom. I knew my way around the house now, knew when to use the bathroom and when not to. I knew where they kept the cereal, where Alice often hid the remote as a side affect of being absent-minded. I knew what times Esme and Carlisle started work and finished work. And I almost, _almost_ liked the majority of my relatives.

It was just my uncle. There was something about him that irked me, whatever it was. I couldn't quite place my finger on it.

"I'm buying you an alarm clock," Alice shot at me, finishing off a glass of milk. The glass had a logo from some place called Banff on it. They were both sat at the table, Emmett wearing his usual easy smile as he dug into breakfast.

I didn't feel like breakfast at the moment. I was still too sleepy. I said, "I'm looking forward to it."

"We really need to sort you out with a car too. I mean, Emmett and I aren't going to ferry you around for ever,"

I shot Alice a look but she was uninterested, her attention locked on the screen of her BlackBerry. It wasn't like I was a burden to them, was it? They had been the ones offering to drive me to school all week. Alice had offered to take me shopping and Emmett has insisted I "got a look at Rosalie's rack". No way would I have them turn this around on me.

"It's fine," I told them, slinging my jacket on. "I'll walk today if it pleases you."

And I did, ignoring the protests that sounded from the dining room. I just kicked on my shoes and shut the door behind me, welcoming the cold air for the first time since I'd arrived. I wasn't even reluctant about the walk... _Yet_.

I took the porch steps two at a time, then realized I didn't have my back pack. Oh well. Alice would bring it if she was at least the slightest bit intuitive.

* * *

My journey to Forks High School was fairly excruciating. I hadn't realized just how far my aunt and uncle lived from the centre of town, let alone the school. Walking had not been my brightest idea but I was sure that storming off had made quite an impact on my cousins. If I could then of course I'd have my own car. The problem was that I _didn't_ have the money, nor the patience to wait and earn it.

By the time I got to the main entrance of the school, I was knackered and my iPod was almost out of battery. Stupid technology. Stupid me for not charging it.

Thankfully I wasn't anywhere near late. In fact, I was reasonably on time. Six minutes to kill before class started even, so I started towards the locker I had been assigned on Tuesday. It wasn't far and it was likely I'd have a spare note book or Biro somewhere.

"You didn't have to walk," Emmett announced, jogging to catch up with me as I started down the hallway. "Alice was just joking."

I gave him a look, and then both of us had to suck in our chests as a group of giggling freshmens walked past. It was far to say we'd grabbed their attention but Em was just looking at me apologetically still. I sighed and said, "In case you haven't noticed, I have a quick temper."

Now he laughed. "Oh, I'd noticed alright! But seriously, I haven't walked to school in three years and the memory's still painful. I got splashed by at least four truckers."

"It wasn't the worst experience for me," I told him as I reached my locker. There was a crude drawing on the door that, I'll admit, I laughed at when I first saw it. The paint was chipped on the outside, however the interior of the locker was perfectly acceptable for a public school.

"Look, I'm trying to make ammends. Are you riding home with me or walking?" Emmett asked, the continued. "We might even stop off at pretzel heaven..."

And that was enough to reel me in. We walked to class in a not-so-awkward silence and I found myself through the door _early_. Mr. Banner nodded a half-hearted greeting at me as I started towards my desk. Bella wasn't here yet but a few rows back, an enthusiastic head of colour was. I'm not one to brag, but she lit up when she saw me. I offered her a tight smile in return as I slung myself down in my seat.

I realized then that I'd left my new textbooks in my back pack and I groaned inwardly.

"Hey, Zoey. You don't happen to have a spare book?" I asked her and she merely snorted in response.

She said, "I don't even have one myself. Just ask to share with your desk-mate?"

The late bell went and speak of the devil, Bella strolled into the classroom. I felt like groaning again. Mr. Banner didn't even look up at her as he began to write out the lesson plan on the board. It was then that I noticed Bella's cheeks were all puffy and red, as if she'd been crying.

What had she got to cry about?

As she sat down I asked, "Why were you crying?"

Bella looked towards me in shock, as if she'd been hoping she didn't look like crap. I mean, she didn't - but at the same time she did. "I h-had... I haven't been crying."

"You're lying," I replied, leaning back on my stool. Out of the windows I could see the sky was a mess of rolling dark clouds, a faint foreboding of the rain that was to come. I was so taking Emmett up on his offer.

"I don't know what you mean. And anyway, why do you care?" she asked, her tone surprisingly venomous. I almost fell backwards. "You don't even know me. You don't know anyone here, not really."

"Jeez, I was just trying to be nice for a change." I was_ so _not looking forward to sharing a textbook with her.

Mr. Banner began talking, and I tried to focus on him and not on Bella's raccoon eyes. It was hard to concentrate with her fidgeting so much though. Every few seconds Bella would tap her pen, or she'd cough as quietly as possible, or she'd play with her hair.

I wanted to tell her to quit it but I didn't. Instead, I turned my attention to the window panes. Rain water trickled down the glass, making the view of outside slightly translucent. I could only make out the shapes of the botanic quad that Alice had shown me a few days ago. I determined to go there again this lunch time if the rain let up a bit. We hadn't had a botanic quad at my old school, and it wasn't like my old friends would've taken to hanging out there anyway.

Hell dawned on me as the teacher told us to open our text books and start on some questions. I spared a look at Bella, who was still fidgeting, and then turned my eyes down to the empty space on the desk in front of me.

It was detention or sharing a book with Bella, and the worst part was resolving which was more appealing.

"What?" Bella snapped at me as I leaned closer towards her and her text book. "What are you doing?"

"I don't have a book," I told her.

"That's your problem then."

"And now it's also yours. What page are we on?" I asked, indignant.

Bella only scowled at me before opening her text book, flipping to a page with a whole lot of diagrams and information. I started on the questions.

I was completely focused on trying to find an explanation on how reflex actions worked in the text but then a wad of paper landed with a soft smack on my desk. I looked around curiously, only to find Zoey giving a little wave. She didn't seem to be interested in the work at all. And as I read the note, I found she'd had something much more productive to do with her time.

_You're coming with me to a club tonight pretty-boy _

_Zoey xoxo_

I smiled, momentarily, down at the girlish 'kisses' and 'hugs' she'd plastered onto the end of the note. It had been a while since I'd had a positive approach to a girl showing me any kind of affection, and it had also been a while since I'd gone to a club with a date.

Scrawling down a reply, I waited until Mr. Banner had his back turned before I chucked the wad of paper back at her.

I pretended to do my work until she gave a small giggle, letting me know just how flirtatious her reply would be. The old me would've been itching with anticipation but instead, I was patient. Sure, it'd be nice to go out tonight, it'd be nice to have fun for once. It'd also be nice if Bella stopped biting her nails.

"Can you stop that?" I asked her on impulsive.

Bella didn't even look at me. She said, "What happened to 'Nice Edward'?"

Before I could come up with a comeback, my desk-mate was hit in the face by the wad of paper. I swung round on my seat to look at Zoey and her friends, who were all trying to cover up their laughter. I turned back to Bella, who was rubbing her eye and grimacing down at the note.

I stumbled around in my mind for some sort of apology but nothing came to me. I didn't even want to laugh. She just looked so... Fed up and defeated.

"The Walrus King is a crap-hole," Bella told me, her tone notably uneven. Then the bell rang and she got up, swiftly leaving the vicinity.

_I'll pick you up at five and if the 'rents ask just don't say it's at the Walrus King_

_Oh, and wear something sexy! xoxo_

I scrunched up the note and shoved it into my pocket, then took off to my next class. I didn't particularly like the atmosphere that had been left in the room, and as I went to my next class, I was left with the incredibility of just how eventful one biology lesson had been.

* * *

_A/N: I know this was chapter took ages for me to write and post, however I've just been so busy recently with exams and coursework. Who knew the English education system could be such a cruel place for a teenager? Anyway, the highlight of my week was that I saw Paramore play at the O2 Arena last night. It was their biggest venue yet and it was amazing, they even played Decode! But anyway, sorry that this is so short too. I'm working on the next chapter already and it should be posted soon! Please review & tell me what you think... x_


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